Each of us is shaped for a unique and ultimate contribution, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have been placed on this earth to do good things! You have a gift so naturally you want to figure it out, right? In this episode, I will show you how to pinpoint your purpose through your spiritual gifts, natural talents and acquired abilities, and explain why it is so very important to discover your purpose in life. Even if you are still reeling from a setback such as divorce, you too can find purpose because you have gifts that would have NEVER been discovered if not for the trials in life. Listen in now!

Welcome to the divorce recovery podcast. My name is India Kern. My intention is to encourage and guide you through the valley of divorce. It doesn’t matter what stage you are in because we all need a little help navigating the road from married to divorced. I’ve been there and I know how it is, so sit tight, listen up and enjoy the podcast. Today’s episode is finding your purpose. Now that may seem quite daunting, especially if you are still reeling from divorce, but do not fret because this information is something that you can take in and chew on, sit with and come back to. Truthfully, right now may not be the time just yet to dive in fully, but there is a reason you are drawn to this topic, so listen in. Let me start with something that I believe is the most critical piece to this puzzle.

The enigma of finding your purpose and that is drum roll, please – you have gifts that would have never been discovered if not for the trials in your life. Pause for a moment and contemplate those words. It could be your divorce, betrayal, rejection, et cetera. I am pointing this out because it’s very normal and easy to get caught up in your own calamity without ever asking yourself, how is this trial shaping me or better yet, how is God shaping me through this transition? Now, maybe you are not wondering about your purpose here on this earth and that is okay, but most likely there will be a time that you do. It’s usually around the mid-game. For me it was 43 that’s very typical, and I will explain why later. In this episode, I’m going to teach you how to pinpoint your purpose. First, we will look at different ways to label your gifts.

I will use myself as an example to show you how I came up with my purpose. Then I will give you some questions to spark ideas so that you can begin the discovery of your role. Now, if purpose is just too heavy of a word for you, replace it with the word gift. Think about it. We receive gifts with joy, possibly glee. Purpose sounds so intimidating. It’s easy to replace it with the word “gift”. So why do we need to know our purpose? It’s human to question your role in this world, like why I’m here, what is my contribution? And truth be told, we all want to end well, right? We want to go out of this world knowing we have contributed and left something behind. Purpose, gift, contribution, and role are all words that I will use interchangeably. Let me begin by saying the Bible clearly states each of us is shaped for a unique and ultimate contribution and you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Now that’s an uplifting and very inspirational message, I’d say, because it clearly states you have been placed on this earth to do good things or something of value. You have a gift, so don’t you want to figure out what it is? So how does one go about doing that? The Bible talks about our spiritual gifts, but I want to go deeper to pinpoint your purpose, not just your spiritual gifts. So let’s jump right in and get started. I want to start by saying your purpose and your role are not the same thing as your job or your vocation. It can be, but most of the time they are not aligned, but when they are, consider yourself a very fortunate person. As you’re figuring out your role, you must look at three key areas. And before I unpack this, I want you to imagine three circles that all intersect.

Each circle will represent a key area that I’m about to describe. In one circle you have your spiritual gift, that is what God has given you, what you came to this world with, what you seem to be drawn to, such as helping others, the gift of service or encourager, the gift of prayer, leadership, even the gift of healing. The next overlapping circle would be your natural abilities. Maybe you’re an artist, a speaker, a teacher, something that comes to you very easily. Then the third intersecting circle is your acquired skills. What you have picked up along the way, maybe you’re educated in a certain area of expertise that you can use in service. So once we find that sweet spot where all the circles intersect, that is where your purpose lies. So keep that in mind as we go through this. As you’re trying to figure out your key areas, I want you to consider how you contribute to your vocation, your family.

If you’re a mother, that is the first taste of missionary work because you’re guiding, teaching, leading by example for your children. Another question to ask is, how do you contribute to your community or if you’re involved in a church or some spiritual practice, how do you contribute there as well? So those questions and how you answered them is going to help direct you in what role you come up with, your purpose, your gift, your contribution. So you may be asking, why do I need to discover my role? So let me give you a little background on this. In your 20s and 30s you are given tasks and assignments to complete where you hone in on your contribution. Let me use myself as an example. When I look back on my past, I can see how the tasks that were laid along my path shaped who I am today and helped me be a better teacher.

Back in high school, I struggled at writing. I hated it with a passion, but then in college, I landed myself in a great books program where I am writing paper after paper; a paper was due every day. It was grueling work, but then I started to learn how to enjoy writing. And then after college, one of my first jobs, I was a graphic artist and an editor at WMAZ television in Macon, Georgia. It was a job that was the most fun with the worst pay, but I loved the work. Now I can clearly see how those acquired skills that I picked up along the way have greatly helped me in what I do today. I wear many hats as a divorce recovery mentor. I’m a graphic artist, an editor and a voice engineer. I use all these acquired skills to write, edit, and record. As far as my spiritual gift, I believe I have the gift of teaching.

And then when I combined that with the trials that I’ve been through, I feel like I have a gift of compassion and understanding. So naturally, I cater to people walking through the valleys of life. So here’s the cool part. When I combined the three circles of my spiritual gift of teaching with my natural ability as an artist and my acquired skills at editing, writing, recording and graphic art, I see the intersection, that leads me to conclude I am a teacher of healing or a divorce recovery mentor, so you still may not know what your gift is, and I am going to give you questions later on that will trigger some ideas around that…that you can contemplate and possibly come up with some ideas. But I want to address the question that I never really did answer and that is why do we need to know our gift, our role, our contribution to this world?

Remember as I said, in your twenties you’re acquiring and put to task, but if you reach your forties and you do not have a clue what your contribution is to this world, then I can guarantee you, you will be restless and it’s usually around the mid-game. In your forties you’re going to have more demands from your home, your church, your work. What’s important is to clarify your contribution. As Terry Walling, my coach says, “it’s the time when you need to know not what you could do, but what you should do” once you know your role and then you get to say “no” to the things that are not going to allow you to serve your best role and “yes” to the things that are. It’s very important to have those guidelines to follow. So you may be thinking right now, I don’t have a clue what it is that I’ve been called to do, so I want to give you some tips.

First start by asking God, look for spiritual affirmation. What God do you want me to do? Second, start serving. See what is aligned with you, what you are drawn to do. Ask Your friends how they see you in your best role. Listen, the thing is you don’t have to be a missionary in Kenya to be of service. Gifts come in all different shapes and sizes. For instance, you could be an encourager, you could be a teacher, a giver. You could have the gift of prayer. It could be a great chef and serve with your cooking. You could be a songwriter, a blogger, or an artist. You could be a mother. And as I said before, mothering is the first missionary fields. You could be a healer, a counselor. So all these gifts fall under the umbrella of service. You can serve through the ordinary or what may seem like the ordinary, but all gifts are extraordinary.

So I want to leave you with some questions that will hopefully trigger thoughts around your role, your gift, your purpose. Number one, who are the people that you most influence? Are you called to impact a certain group of people? This could be your family or people at your work. Number two, what is the cause you are most committed to? What do you talk about all the time? What are you drawn to? And number three, what could you do all day long if that was a possibility, what are you wired to do? And when you do it, you know God is working through you. In the end, come up with your personal mission statement so you have a destination to hit, meaning you can say no to things that do not allow you to serve in your best role. I’ll leave you with my personal mission statement.

I guide people through the transition of divorce to create a purpose-driven life that they love and deserve. And one of my most favorite quotes that I’ll leave you with and it also sums up the day that you really know your purpose is the day you say, “And now, Lord, with your help, I shall become myself.” One last thing, many of you have some gifts that would never have been discovered if not for the trials in your life. I want to emphasize that I did not go out and discover my talent. God called me to do this work. Honestly, I never would’ve signed up for a position with a job description “seeking a devoted wife and mother who was willing to get emotionally-reamed to find a purpose-driven life.” So make that mess your message. Thank you for listening. As always, you can contact me at connect@indiakern.com and take advantage of my free consultation. I give you 30 minutes to talk to me, and we see if we fit and then we can go from there. You have nothing to lose, have a beautiful day and thanks for listening.