You’re standing at the crossroads of insanity and reason. The road of insanity is believing you can pull this off, no matter what direction you take, and the road of reason is recognizing something has to change. Life cannot continue as it is now.
You are deciding on divorce. You wrestle with the BIG question, should I stay or should I go?
But how will you know you’re making the right decision? You’ve been here before, and you get sucked back in, and nothing changes. Life continues as is.
But you are certain about one thing, life has to change. If you stay in this marriage, you and your spouse must do something different, and if you decide to go, well, that’s the change in itself.
Remaining in this state of uncertainty, you feel paralyzed, stuck in fear, and then the evil twins of chaos and worry set in. Living in limbo is not living at all. It’s living in internal conflict, also known as hell.
Questions like will I damage my kids? Who will get the house? How will our income stretch to support two households? swirl around in your head.
How will you know if the decision you make is the best one?
These questions are the reason divorce coaches like myself exist today. We’re fairly new to the scene. Unlike a therapist, we are future-focused. We may glance at the past, but we certainly do not pitch a tent there. We are in the business of making game plans. We use our resources and referrals to help clients like you feel good about the decisions you make. I want my clients to look back on this difficult time of transition and feel proud of the decisions s/he made.
As a certified divorce coach, I cannot tell you what path to take, but since I have been down the divorce road myself, I can offer you tools to help you make a wise and informed decision about your next step forward.
3 Tools to Help to You Decide About Divorce
1. Gather information. Uncertainty creates fear. Fear creates indecision. Knowledge brings confidence to move forward no matter what direction it may be. I recommend talking to divorce professionals who can shed light on all the doubts you have in regards to the “business” of divorce – finances, real estate, and your legal circumstance. I have a tight community of divorce professionals who I refer on a regular basis. They take care of my clients.
2. Decide on what you want. You are a decision-maker whether you believe it or not. Not making a decision simply means something or someone else determines your results. It’s a decision in itself. To combat indecision you must identify what you intend to create. Take a minute and ask yourself what do I want? Do you have a vision for your future? Write it down. What you focus on will expand. Make sure it’s something you’re excited to create.
3. Hire a Certified Divorce Coach. Look at a divorce coach as your thinking partner. Together, we make a game plan for your next steps forward. We also help you shift perspective that may be keeping you stuck in conflict. This can be your “aha” moment that moves the ball forward. Also, we get you mentally and emotionally prepared for your legal, financial, and real estate decisions. We are here to reduce the “overwhelm” of it all, even if you’re on the fence about divorce.
India Kern is a Certified Divorce Coach and Mindset Coach who helps a person navigate the divorce process without falling into the common emotional pitfalls. India’s forward-thinking approach minimizes the “overwhelm” of divorce by helping with:
Emotional support
Preparation for the business of divorce
Shift in mindset
Devising a game plan
Reaching clarity
India’s clients feel confident that they are making wise, informed decisions about their next steps forward. She guides a person in any phase of divorce, even those that may be contemplating divorce. India provides one-on-one coaching, group coaching programs, and an online course called “The Divorce Survival Kit”.
In addition to being a coach, India authored the book, Surviving the Unwanted Divorce and is a facilitator of divorce support groups in San Diego.
When it comes to divorce, YOU have a choice – to get “bitter” or get “better,” India helps you get better!
My name is India Kern, and I’m a Certified Divorce Coach and Life Coach who guides people who are stuck in a limited mindset to a place of unlimited greatness. I help them feel confident, find a sense of security and be HAPPY again because I believe everyone deserves to create an extraordinary life.