1.Take care of yourself. Sounds simple right, but it’s SUPER easy to neglect your basic needs like nourishment, sleep and exercise. Make a point to eat a balanced diet, get your beauty sleep and get moving. Go take a yoga class. Yoga is healing and only requires your presence. It’s in the stillness and peace where deep healing is done. If you don’t have access to a yoga class, you’re in luck, because I created one just for you. NO EXCUSES – Get your FREE YOGA session now!
2. Commit to a spiritual practice. whatever that looks like to you. It could be reading a devotion or meditating in your living room. God has His hand in all of this. Ask yourself: How might God be shaping me right now in the transition of divorce? This transition is sacred, and if you allow the transition to go through you, you will grow and flourish. It’s in the valleys of life where we do most of our growing. Think about it like this: the valley is fertile land, and we all know what makes soil rich. And at this moment, you may be up to your ears in it, but it’s in the muck and mire where we grow and eventually thrive and flourish.
3. Journal. This will be the keeper of your sorrow. Dump all the mess of divorce on paper so you no longer have to carry the heavy burden. This will also serve as a measurement of your healing. In the future, you will look back and see the progress you have made.
4. Gather your dream team. You need support. This includes healthy friends, family, therapist, lawyer, coach or mentor, and a financial advisor. Say NO to toxic people! What exactly is a Divorce Recovery Mentor? Find out here
5. To deal is to feel. That means you must grieve the loss. Divorce is a death of a marriage, and it will take time to heal. Even though, you would like to teleport to the future to avoid the pain, don’t rush the process. Pain is the alarm alerting you to the emotional fire that rages nearby. It’s a signal that you need care and healing.
6. Get off social media. No one needs to hear you rant about your ex or see your party pictures. This only creates unnecessary drama that can easily be avoided. Even if the ex is being a pill, save that gripe session for your besties. Keep all posts light.
7. Set up new accounts. DO NOT use any old email accounts or passwords. Get a new checking account just for you and start getting EXTREMELY familiar with your financial situation.
8. Separate truth from fiction. You are not ALL alone, and I promise, you will not end up a crazy cat lady, homeless on the streets. You will get through this, and IT’S POSSIBLE to create a life you love. At times, you may feel lonely, but as Wayne Dyer said, “You cannot be lonely if you love the person you’re with.” Start with a Truth exercise. Click here to view and print the PDF.
9. Write out a three-year plan. Work backward. Start with how you see yourself in three years. Dream big and be excited about what you plan to create. If you’re more visual, make a vision board.
10. Define your core values. In order to reach a desired destination you must follow a roadmap, right? You must define your core values, so that you have principles to live by. Start by asking yourself what are the “non-negotiables” in my life?
At this moment, you may feel isolated, restless, and alone. And you’re probably uncertain about your future. These are classic symptoms of a transition, and divorce just happens to be a HUGE one. And it’s here for a reason because transitions appear to:
•teach us
•gain clarity
•define values system
•find purpose or direction in your life
When you’re in a transition like divorce, you need someone outside your daily world to look at your life with fresh eyes. You may feel stuck in your current reality, and you aren’t sure how to navigate your next step forward, I can help. Contact me for a FREE consultation. connect@indiakern.com
My name is India Kern, and I’m a divorce recovery coach. I guide you through the transition from married to “happily” divorced. I know it’s possible because I did it myself. You can create a life that you love after the devastation of divorce, and coaching is the catalyst that accelerates the change.
You have a choice, to either get “bitter” or get “better.” Are you ready to get “better?”